Dear Women, You Are Powerful
“All facades fall sometime, then the mask comes off and the real heart is seen.”
Hello Readers,
It has been a moment since we last connected. Nearing the end of my current semester, I was going to post a new blog later on this month but something this past week truly shook me. Although I have been in my own bubble for the past few months I still keep abreast of everything that is going on. The waterfall of men that are being accused of sexual harassment has been eye opening, to say the least.
Harvey Weinstein was the first man accused in this media frenzy and I said to myself, "I am not surprised." Then on November 10, 2017, the Los Angeles Times released an article about Russell Simmons being investigated over sexual allegations that dated back to 2001. The reason why I highlighted Simmons is he was one of the media moguls I admired as a young boy. As I grew older I became more of aware of his jerk-like personality. I mean, I will never forget a statement he made, "When I came off the plane in Europe, the first thing they did was ask me what I wanted. I said pussy and cocaine." Hey that is fair, he was a young guy enjoying fame but still... So let us catch up, here is a list of all the men that have been accused so far:
- Harvey Weinstein
- Brett Ratner
- Kevin Spacey
- Louis C.K.
- Mark Halperin
- Ed Westwick
- Roy Price
- Matthew Weiner
- John Besh
- John Lasseter
- Hamilton Fish
- Mike Oreskes
- Leon Wieseltier
- Russell Simmons
- James Toback
- George H.W. Bush
- Dustin Hoffman
- Tom Sizemore
- Jeremy Piven
- Robert Knepper
- Richard Dreyfuss
- Steven Seagal
- Jeffrey Tambor
- George Takei
- Jann Wenner
- Nick Carter
- Glenn Thrush
- Roy Moore
- Al Franken
- John Conyers
- Charlie Rose
- Garrison Keillor
- Matt Lauer
Which brings me to the moment that shook me out of seclusion: accused number 33, Matt Lauer, the 25-million-dollar-a-year NBC morning news anchor. Look, I was disgusted by all the men before but at the same time I was not truly moved. This all changed when Matt Lauer became the latest man accused of sexual harassment. From the 90's I grew up watching the Today show with Matt Lauer and Katie Couric; he was a staple in our home. He was the first journalist I thought of as a great, then came Anderson Cooper. So when the overnight bomb dropped I had to share my thoughts.
Since moving to the states, I have had my own sexual harassment-related situation that turned me into a robot at work. So a female colleague of mine took my friendly nature and became too familiar with me. She would jokingly say things like, "Oh, Chet, that booty" and other little comments along those lines. I have a passive personality and a thick skin which is funny that so many of my teen years was spent learning to thicken my skin in The Bahamas only to come a place where I have to be ultra sensitive.
Anyway, so one day my colleague, unknowing to me, was in an unpleasant mood. I thought it was our usual banter but here she comes, "You better stop before I call Human Resources." There was a clear joking tone in her voice but I did not take that statement lightly, at all. From that moment, things changed. I still am that friendly and professional person at work, on the outside, but there is a guard up so high that an aircraft could not get over. The funny thing is I never let anyone know about this situation, never addressed it and I am still quite pleasant to this coworker but for my own protection I keep her at a distance.
My experience could be looked at as, one of the victim or as, one of the accused. It also left me with a problematic view that not all who accuse someone of sexual harassment should be believed but in the same breath I do not want to let my negative experience take away from these brave women. Also, I know men have been victims but women, I am speaking to you.
I want to applaud the women that came forward to speak out against these powerful men. Some more problematic views from people are, "Why did she wait so long to come forward?" or "She could have dressed a little more conservatively." To answer the former, I can only imagine how terrifying it must be to try to take down a man who has a company in his back pocket but no longer can a company not afford to lose these powerful men, they actually cannot afford to keep these men. To answer the latter, how you dress has little-to-nothing to do with why a man wants to sexually assault a woman. It is about power.
Women have banded together and have now made it very dangerous for men to use their power to control these women. Speaking of banding together, women need not to be each other's enemies. The catty personalities and "there's only room for one" mentality must stop. I understand the corporate world is a competitive one but knowing the odds placed against women, they should have each other's back instead of stepping on them.
I probably sound preachy at this point but this is a monumental time for women. Decades after the infamous Anita Hill case, justice seems to be surfacing. Do I think this is the end of sexual harassment? Of course not but I a person will think twice knowing that a 20 plus year career can do down the drain with just one accusation.